sneak peek from 50 shades of gray!!
If you wanna be my lover…
….you gotta be prepared for my hour-long rants about fictional female characters and why they are so important.
idc if it’s true or not this headline is all that matters to me. x
If by ‘fuck the police’ you mean fuck the corrupt, prejudiced, racist system then yes, fuck the police, but if you mean fuck the police for stopping you from smoking weed and getting away with illegal behaviour then no, fuck you.
But what if I mean “I wish to have intercourse with that man in uniform”
then fuck the police
"the bride will now recite her vows."
space. the final frontier. these are the voyages of the starship enterprise. it’s ongoing mission, to explore strange new worlds. to seek out new life and new civilizations. to boldly go where no one has gone before.
“man i am so tired” stays up for 3 more hours doing absolutely nothing
i was waiting for my snack wrap but everything changed when the fire nation attacked
this looks like something out of a freaking sims game
if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence
"One day in the subway, James saw a red cat with a wound to the leg that likely resulted from a fight with another cat. It was obvious that the cat needed help. James could not pass and took the cat to the vet. With a little medical treatment and prescription drugs, the cat quickly recovered. At that point, James found it impossible to say goodbye to Street Cat Bob. Bob followed James everywhere he went. As James played the guitar on the street and Bob sat nearby, revenues increased dramatically. People found it difficult to pass when they looked at the cute kitty. James went on to write a book describing their adventures in the street which was full of life – both dramatic and comedic. In the book, James says that he could not have imagined how meeting Bob would change his life. His friendship with the cat healed him from a life that had been very hard. Most likely, if Bob could speak, he would say the same thing.”(viaTumbleOn)
This is the best. I keep meaning to get that book.
I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir
This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel
I’m going to get a bigger glass and add more mixer and have way too much to drink: The Thrilling Conclusion
Daughter passed a milestone today